[Fire Emblem] Count the Ways
Jun. 24th, 2008 06:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
runicloreCount the Ways
Author: Amber Michelle
Day/Theme: June 11 - You want so much, it makes you sorry (rewrite)
Series: Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn
Character/Pairing: Lehran, Altina
Rating: T
Words: 874
Notes: formerly Ashera's Blessing. Completely rewritten, with twice the bitterness of the last one. The old version is still up if you really want to see it.
.............................................
Lehran knew it would happen. They discussed this when he left Begnion; it was his idea to erase his existence in the public eye, and Altina was the reluctant party, perhaps because she held in her arms the reason for his departure, nursing at her breast. He'd stopped thinking about it for the most part. He had not lived so long, yet, that two years would seem the blink of an eye. Instead of wishing to see Altina every day, wishing to see his child and watch her grow, he only dreamed about it at night and tried to forget in the morning.
Then he received her letter. It was short, and her hand was not as neat as he was accustomed to seeing it. I've found a way for our daughter to take her rightful place without risk. She told him her thoughts, opened her heart to him for the last time.
I'm sorry.
And then it was finished.
Lehran wrote a message to King Dheginsea with the news. He owed Begnion congratulations on its new union. He tried to compose a reply to complete the circle, and to assure her of his blessing, but the words were sluggish. He crumbled parchment after parchment, broke the nib of his quill, splattered ink over another sheet of parchment, and finally abandoned the project when his hands shook too much to write ledgibly.
I'm sorry.
He hated it when she apologized.
The formal announcement of the Empress's engagement came to Goldoa a week later, and the Begnion messanger was sent away immediately so he wouldn't recognize their false cheer for what it was. Relations between the countries would cool if the king was seen to be anything less than ecstatic, just as he was the last time Altina married.
There was no mention of a daughter. Lehran wondered how they would manage to integrate a small child into their new family without turning heads. He counted the ways: an infant might be acquired to take the child's place for public viewings; they might simply tell a half-truth, and claim his daughter's existence was concealed for her own safety; she might lie and tell them of her reluctance to announce the birth out of respect for her late husband's memory.
Lies. Lies would follow his daughter all her life. She would grow up believing herself a normal beorc girl, marry, and perpetuate his legacy. She would learn to say father, and smile up at the wrong man, never suspecting her mistake. She would ask how it was her parents met, and the story would be fabricated - perhaps it was already decided upon.
She would ask if they loved each other, and perhaps Altina would say yes, and it would be the truth. Two years was a long time for a normal beorc woman. To Lehran, it now seemed less than the span of a step or two.
He lived in a small villa on the palace grounds, surrounded by a garden of plants common to the forest he was born in. Wisteria climbed over the roof, cypress trees spread their wings of green like domes high above, camellia climbed the trellis. The lake had been drained, replaced by a small, shallow fountain and a lush carpet of grass that he often lay upon to gaze at the stars. There was a notable lack of blades and other dangerous objects - not even a mirror - which he pretended not to notice. There was room to spread his wings and fly, though his stamina was limited in this form and he could no longer transform. It was doubtful he could reach the lowest cypress branch before his strength gave out.
Dheginsea had planned this retreat well. He must have anticipated this situation too, and made the appropriate provisions for Lehran's continued well-being. The dragon's careful planning was half of what won the war against chaos, but he hated that it interfered with him now.
Lehran wanted trees. Goldoa was an arid land, and his garden a rare, cultivated wonder. He wanted to stand at the center of Mainal Cathedral when the sun rose and shined through the stained glass above the door to paint a pattern of blue and violet light across the marble floor. He wanted to see his wife. She's mine, mine, mine.
He couldn't stop thinking about all the ways in which the man she was about to marry might disappear. A knife in the dark, poison in his tea, an accident in the carriage, the judgement of the goddess-- But Ashera had deserted him. Her voice was silenced the moment his daughter cried as she was brought into the world.
Lehran sang the hymn. But of course the goddess did not respond, and his voice fell into the slience flat and unremarkable. He couldn't stand the sound of it.
After all of the sacrifices he made for her, all of the years he devoted to her, this was the answer. There was nothing to call his, nothing to say, nothing to hold. Her promises were empty.
Dheginsea went to Begnion for the celebration, and Lehran remained in Goldoa. He didn't send a message. He wouldn't give his blessing.
............................................................
Author: Amber Michelle
Day/Theme: June 11 - You want so much, it makes you sorry (rewrite)
Series: Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn
Character/Pairing: Lehran, Altina
Rating: T
Words: 874
Notes: formerly Ashera's Blessing. Completely rewritten, with twice the bitterness of the last one. The old version is still up if you really want to see it.
.............................................
Lehran knew it would happen. They discussed this when he left Begnion; it was his idea to erase his existence in the public eye, and Altina was the reluctant party, perhaps because she held in her arms the reason for his departure, nursing at her breast. He'd stopped thinking about it for the most part. He had not lived so long, yet, that two years would seem the blink of an eye. Instead of wishing to see Altina every day, wishing to see his child and watch her grow, he only dreamed about it at night and tried to forget in the morning.
Then he received her letter. It was short, and her hand was not as neat as he was accustomed to seeing it. I've found a way for our daughter to take her rightful place without risk. She told him her thoughts, opened her heart to him for the last time.
I'm sorry.
And then it was finished.
Lehran wrote a message to King Dheginsea with the news. He owed Begnion congratulations on its new union. He tried to compose a reply to complete the circle, and to assure her of his blessing, but the words were sluggish. He crumbled parchment after parchment, broke the nib of his quill, splattered ink over another sheet of parchment, and finally abandoned the project when his hands shook too much to write ledgibly.
I'm sorry.
He hated it when she apologized.
The formal announcement of the Empress's engagement came to Goldoa a week later, and the Begnion messanger was sent away immediately so he wouldn't recognize their false cheer for what it was. Relations between the countries would cool if the king was seen to be anything less than ecstatic, just as he was the last time Altina married.
There was no mention of a daughter. Lehran wondered how they would manage to integrate a small child into their new family without turning heads. He counted the ways: an infant might be acquired to take the child's place for public viewings; they might simply tell a half-truth, and claim his daughter's existence was concealed for her own safety; she might lie and tell them of her reluctance to announce the birth out of respect for her late husband's memory.
Lies. Lies would follow his daughter all her life. She would grow up believing herself a normal beorc girl, marry, and perpetuate his legacy. She would learn to say father, and smile up at the wrong man, never suspecting her mistake. She would ask how it was her parents met, and the story would be fabricated - perhaps it was already decided upon.
She would ask if they loved each other, and perhaps Altina would say yes, and it would be the truth. Two years was a long time for a normal beorc woman. To Lehran, it now seemed less than the span of a step or two.
He lived in a small villa on the palace grounds, surrounded by a garden of plants common to the forest he was born in. Wisteria climbed over the roof, cypress trees spread their wings of green like domes high above, camellia climbed the trellis. The lake had been drained, replaced by a small, shallow fountain and a lush carpet of grass that he often lay upon to gaze at the stars. There was a notable lack of blades and other dangerous objects - not even a mirror - which he pretended not to notice. There was room to spread his wings and fly, though his stamina was limited in this form and he could no longer transform. It was doubtful he could reach the lowest cypress branch before his strength gave out.
Dheginsea had planned this retreat well. He must have anticipated this situation too, and made the appropriate provisions for Lehran's continued well-being. The dragon's careful planning was half of what won the war against chaos, but he hated that it interfered with him now.
Lehran wanted trees. Goldoa was an arid land, and his garden a rare, cultivated wonder. He wanted to stand at the center of Mainal Cathedral when the sun rose and shined through the stained glass above the door to paint a pattern of blue and violet light across the marble floor. He wanted to see his wife. She's mine, mine, mine.
He couldn't stop thinking about all the ways in which the man she was about to marry might disappear. A knife in the dark, poison in his tea, an accident in the carriage, the judgement of the goddess-- But Ashera had deserted him. Her voice was silenced the moment his daughter cried as she was brought into the world.
Lehran sang the hymn. But of course the goddess did not respond, and his voice fell into the slience flat and unremarkable. He couldn't stand the sound of it.
After all of the sacrifices he made for her, all of the years he devoted to her, this was the answer. There was nothing to call his, nothing to say, nothing to hold. Her promises were empty.
Dheginsea went to Begnion for the celebration, and Lehran remained in Goldoa. He didn't send a message. He wouldn't give his blessing.
............................................................
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no subject
Date: 2009-02-27 07:37 pm (UTC)*sigh* Lehran is angst. And it fits him good.
A sudden idea just popped out of nowere: how would he interact with Oliver if -for a reason or antother- they met after RD, after Lehran -yours- left Begnion as penitence ? *misheviously curious*
Anyway, your textes update are always a pleasure to read (but you you must know it already by now).
no subject
Date: 2009-02-28 06:49 am (UTC)Also, there are plans for Oliver fic too. It's just... getting up the motivation to write it is hard. And it would be kind of disturbing. XD
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.